Struggling to Grow

With any new job, you have many new challenges that you have to overcome. Sometimes those challenges are learning new computer processes, learning the new skills to do your job excellent, learning to mesh with new people that are different than your personality, and some are just ovecoming your own insecurities and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and overcome your fears.

With my new job at the Avenue, those are some of the challenges that I have been facing along with others. In no way are these challenges bad. They are good challenges that the LORD has placed before me to help me grow in my talents and also in my love for Him.

He's been teaching me especially here lately about the Holy Spirit. I'm going through the membership class here at Ginghamsburg and last week our lesson was on the Holy Spirit. I can honestly say that in the last fourteen years that I have been a believer, I've never understood the Holy Spirit. It's like my brain has just not been able to comprehend the role that He plays in every believers life. I know what some of his character traits are, but how it personally applies to me and how I can tap into His help has baffeled me.

I purchased a book at the Library book sale last summer about the Holy Spirit. It's still sitting on my bookshelf. Was that a clue from the Lord to read more about Him? Then why is it still on my shelf? Now that the topic has been brought up again, I'm beginning to take notice.

I also feel that the last month and a half since I have been working here, I've been given a spirit of distraction from the enemy. By no means did I have to accept that distractive spirit, but I in many ways I feel like I welcomed it. It allowed me to write off God and say that I don't have time, or that my life is too crazy with handeling two jobs, Sudan art projects, and Suessville cardboard cutouts for the Library Christmas show on top of trying to be a good wife and making meals, cleaning the house, and doing mounds and mounds of laundry. I'm NOT too busy for God, I just need to reprioritize. I don't have an excuse.

In my bible study that just ended last Monday, the topic was "By Faith Moses". It is the workbook "Believing God by Beth Moore". This hit my soul....and after letting it steep in for awhile one of the ways I have applied it is with my new job. She writes:

"Try to place yourself in Moses' position. You are mortal flesh and blood. You have virtually no confidence in yourself. You've faced terrible failure in your past. (Murder, no less!) You have heard the audible voice of God. He has unmistakably called you, though you have no idea why. He has performed wonders before your eyes; yet your vast insecurities incited His anger because you persisted in your resistance. He relented only enough to raise your brother to stand beside you, even though God was all you needed. In obedience to God, you have repeatedly approached a stubborn and powerful pharaoh to demand the release of the mistreated nation of Israel. To complicate matters, you probably know this pharaoh intimately because you grew up with him in your adoptive home. You know his priorities and his prejudices all too well. You are also well aware of his power to slay you and your people. God has given you instructions to prepare the nation of Israel for the wonder that will result in a mighty deliverance. You mind is whirling. In moments you must tell your people."

We all are like Moses. Facing your insecurities and doing the job that God has called you to do, without looking back. Press on!