...Missing HER...

How do you tell when you are ready to own another dog? Does that special feeling just happen in your heart? How do you "know"?
Matthew and I, well if I'm going to be completely honest, I have been the only one looking online at the local animal shelters hoping to adopt another dog. I found one in particular that stole my heart. His name was Mo, he was 8 years old and had been in a shelter for 2 years. In his previous years he was abused and the foster parent is unsure as to why he was actually alive. She said that he had a rough past. I came home that night from the library beggin Matthew to allow us to go up to Sidney and get him. He said to call the next day. I called. Reported back to Matthew what I heard and he said no way. That there was no logically way that we could adopt him, which he was right. It just couldn't happen.
I began praying about the big decision of owning our own pet. I repeatedly asked God if this was something that we should be doing. Are my motives right Lord? Am I just trying to filling the void?
The Lord is slowly but surely revealing to me that I just miss HER. My CoCo, my babes, my Colimolie. When looking back over my repeated scrolling through the many dogs, I began to realize that I was skipping over many dogs that needed a home. I was skipping over them because they didn't look like HER. My CoComokers.
I miss HER.

I'm nervous about facing this Christmas. It's the first time in 15 years where she hasn't been present. It's the first Christmas where I won't be scouring the shelves trying to find the perfect gift for her. It's the first time where we won't be filling up her stocking and loosly wrapping her gifts. This will be the first time that I don't hear her chomping on her new toy trying to break the squeeker while we are finishing up our own gifts. The first time I don't see her trying to hide her bones in the couch only to lift her head and see that everyone is looking at her as she picks the bone up again to run off to find another place. It's the first time in 15 years where we won't have the joy of spending Christmas with HER.
The last week of looking for new dogs to adopt is my way of avoiding Christmas this year without HER. Oh! how I miss her! If only I could have one more hug, one more smell, one more kiss from her! Miss you CoCo!!!