...laid at rest...

We buried our best friend yesterday morning. Mom and Dad were in Michigan on vacation up at the lake and Matt and I had come home earlier that week. Thursday night we received a call from mom stating that they were coming home early because CoCo wasn't doing good at all. In the background I hear howls of pain that I had never heard before from her. Mom stated that it didn't look good and before she closed, she said "Kim you need to prepare yourself for the worst". The next morning at 5am we got the call. Mom was in tears and she said, "Kim, we're going to the vet, this will be CoCo's last day. She can't walk, and is alot of pain." Luckily, I had fell asleep in my clothes the night before and I jumped up, put my shoes on and was in the car within 5 minutes.

My worst day had come. I arrived at mom and dad's. The car was on, dad was driving and mom was in the backseat with CoCo comforting her. She wasn't howling anymore, but right when I saw her, I knew this was the end. I opened the back door, CoCo lifted her head and shoulder, I sat down and then she placed her head on my lap for me to rub and pet her. It brough flashbacks to my mind of when we first picked her out. She sat on my lap, 15 years earlier, and I petted her head. This was coming full circle.

The car ride went so fast. I whispered to her that I loved her, would always love her, and that I would never forget her. We took her in, and watched her breath her last. I can only hope that she went straight from our arms, to the arms of Jesus. My hope is that she's in heaven with him, playing and running.

The past day has been pretty rough. I stayed at my parents and rubbed CoCo's head while the grave was being buried. I positioned her on the blanket so that she would look "beautiful" for all eternity. And I watched her be placed in the grave and the dirt be piled in. My mom and I made a boquet for her later that afternoon and we painted a rock with her name on it. My dad made a cross and also placed in as the headstone. This all just happened so fast.

I've been trying not to play the game of "would of, could of and should of". It only brings more pain. There is so many things that I could of done, but I've been trying to not live in that kind of place. I know that I loved her with all my heart, and I tried to care for her as much as I could with what I had in me. I hope that she knows that I will ALWAYS love her and that she can never be replaced. You'll always be my CoComokers, my Colimolie, my babes. I love you, for all eternity CoCo!!