honor.cisterns.slavery.sold.promotion.imprisioned.interpreter.ruler.reconciliation.feasting

Questions...everyone has questions about something. I've found myself questioning for the past 3 years and actually even before then what my purpose is. I've already expressed my passion for wanting to find my "divine purpose" but as I've been reading about the life of Joseph, I've wondered what he might of been thinking about his own life. Simply, the title to this blog explains Joseph's life in a nutshell: Joseph was honored by his father. His brothers were jealous and put him in a cistern, then later sold into slavery to traders, the Ishmaelites, then the Ishmaelites sold him to Potiphar, one of Pharoah's officials in Egypt. Joseph found favor with Pharoah and was promoted. Then imprisioned for over two years because of Pharoah's deceitful wife, he then interpreted Pharoahs dreams to get on his good side, became ruler of Egypt, reconciled with his family who originally sold him and then there was a time of feasting!! (Genesis 37-50)
What was Joseph thinking when he was sold into slavery? Imprisoned for something he didn't do? It states in Gen 42:24a and also in Gen 43:30 that Joseph wept bitterly. I put a side note in my bible that the pain Joseph felt probably never went away after being sold, and he also must of wept for lost time away from his family. I couldn't imagine living his life. How hard it must of been to be decieved, HATED, by all of your brothers! 11 in all! And then to be promoted and also deceived by a woman who wanted what she couldn't have. Through it all, Joseph had such great qualities about him. I sometimes wish I could handle myself like him through my own trials in life. Self-control.
I struggle often with just being patient. Matthew always tells me to "Let go, and let God", but what does that really mean. How do you let go and let God do his work? I know it's about surrendering to His plan, but what does surrender really mean? How do you do that? How do you get out of the way of God? It's so difficult to let go and wait, because I've always thought that if I want something to happen, that I have to make it happen. Preparation, diligence, perserverance. But what if God is calling you to just rest, to throw out all of those expectations, how can you do that and not feel lazy? it's so very frustrating...