ahh...sundays

sundays really are the best...
Since I started working at my new job in the company back in August, and I've picked up hours and now work 6 days a week for some extra cash Sundays are the only days that I can actually do what I want, in my own home. Don't get me wrong, the evenings during the week are great too, but they just don't have that extra appeal all day through.
On my way to work, alot of times I don't even have the radio on for the 25 minute drive. It's nice sometimes to just relax and look at the things you're passing. But other times you need that music badly. There's a song by Ginny Owens called "Something More". The chorus and bridge go a little something like this:

there's gotta be something more than running circles for a living
gotta be something better than just trying to survive
gotta be some important puzzle piece that I am missing
gotta be something more to life...
tired of these hopeless places
bored with my earthly things
so I must fill my empty places
with the love that heaven brings...

that's where I'm at...what are the things worth living for ..?..Matthew and I have been thinking about some mission opportunities lately, actually since last October, and we think we found a place but still it's made me think about what we're supposed to do with our lives. It seems like everyone we talk to that don't know us REAL well are shocked that we still live in an apt in BG. It seems like they just can't grasp the fact that not everyone is blessed with awesome jobs straight out of college and can't jump right into the "normal" life and begin to do the "normal" things that people do after they get married and graduate. I don't want to live a "normal" life...and I don't want to do what everyone else wants us to do. With that being said it's still a lot of pressure. One of my big faults is crumbling with the pressures that I feel like others are putting on me. I want to be different but sometimes my desire gets smushed when others lead me to believe that what I want to do is just wrong or foolish. I wish my desires were big enough and matter enough to me so that I could come to a point where it just wouldn't matter what other people think. But I guess that doesn't really work when you're a people pleaser. I feel such guilt dissappointing people or feeling as if others are dissappointed in me when I want something different.

So it leads me back to Sundays...the only day where I try not to think of all that gunk and rest in a place where it just can't get to me. I like to believe that on Sundays it just can't reach me because I'm in my world, in my teeny apt in bg, doing the "unnormal" things, filling my empty places with the love that only heaven can bring....