The MONDAYS....

....we had a case of the Mondays....

eXtReMe DeVoTiOn

I've been reading a great book called Extreme Devotion by The Voice of the Martrys. It's broken down into 365 days and each day introduces a follower of Christ. It has been a wonderful source of inspiration for me and it gives a compelling glimpse into the lives of those that have been persecuted, killed or are being imprisioned for the faith in Jesus Christ. Here is a witness from Pastor Richard Wurmbrand while he was imprisioned in Romania during the years 1948-1966, titled "Extreme Code" Day 296.

Alone in his undergroud cell, the pastor complained to God, "You say you give the sun and the rain to the good and bad. So which is it? Am I good or bad?
God said this to his heart: "You are something else entirely--a child of God. A child of God does not wait for sun or rain. He should be a giver of sun. You are the light in a dark world, so give light. Instead of complaining about what you don't have, why don't you give? There are so many souls around in the other cells."
Pastor Wurmbrand prayed, "How am I supposed to bring someone to salvation when I sit alone in a cell?
"Think it through for yourself."
Richard Wurmbrand then had an idea and tapped on the walls. Sure enough he heard return taps. He then proceeded to teach the prisioners on each side Morse code. Eventually they were able to communicate effectively, and Richard began preaching the gospel. Others in turn did the same to those next to their cells.
His new attitude allowed God to turn a seemingly hopeless situation into an effective method of spreading the gospel throughout the prison.
Years later, Richard heard someone testify that in a Romanian prison, a prisoner adjacent to his cell had won him to Christ by tapping on the wall.

Facing the facts can be a difficult task. When Pastor Wurmbrand evaluated his situation, the facts did not look good. However, his suffering actually led him to a new discovery. He realized that a person's attitude is more important than facts. Armed with an attitude of renewed hope, he began to reevaluate the facts. He could not speak. Yet he could tap in Morse code. He could even share the gospel--his true love. When we find our circumstances stacked against us, we must pay attention to our attitudes. We should be prepared for suffering, as was Christ. Yet we must determine that it will not defeat us. We will survive it. Do you pay more attention to facts? Or are you a person of faith?

"The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet." Romans 16:20

honor.cisterns.slavery.sold.promotion.imprisioned.interpreter.ruler.reconciliation.feasting

Questions...everyone has questions about something. I've found myself questioning for the past 3 years and actually even before then what my purpose is. I've already expressed my passion for wanting to find my "divine purpose" but as I've been reading about the life of Joseph, I've wondered what he might of been thinking about his own life. Simply, the title to this blog explains Joseph's life in a nutshell: Joseph was honored by his father. His brothers were jealous and put him in a cistern, then later sold into slavery to traders, the Ishmaelites, then the Ishmaelites sold him to Potiphar, one of Pharoah's officials in Egypt. Joseph found favor with Pharoah and was promoted. Then imprisioned for over two years because of Pharoah's deceitful wife, he then interpreted Pharoahs dreams to get on his good side, became ruler of Egypt, reconciled with his family who originally sold him and then there was a time of feasting!! (Genesis 37-50)
What was Joseph thinking when he was sold into slavery? Imprisoned for something he didn't do? It states in Gen 42:24a and also in Gen 43:30 that Joseph wept bitterly. I put a side note in my bible that the pain Joseph felt probably never went away after being sold, and he also must of wept for lost time away from his family. I couldn't imagine living his life. How hard it must of been to be decieved, HATED, by all of your brothers! 11 in all! And then to be promoted and also deceived by a woman who wanted what she couldn't have. Through it all, Joseph had such great qualities about him. I sometimes wish I could handle myself like him through my own trials in life. Self-control.
I struggle often with just being patient. Matthew always tells me to "Let go, and let God", but what does that really mean. How do you let go and let God do his work? I know it's about surrendering to His plan, but what does surrender really mean? How do you do that? How do you get out of the way of God? It's so difficult to let go and wait, because I've always thought that if I want something to happen, that I have to make it happen. Preparation, diligence, perserverance. But what if God is calling you to just rest, to throw out all of those expectations, how can you do that and not feel lazy? it's so very frustrating...

ahh...sundays

sundays really are the best...
Since I started working at my new job in the company back in August, and I've picked up hours and now work 6 days a week for some extra cash Sundays are the only days that I can actually do what I want, in my own home. Don't get me wrong, the evenings during the week are great too, but they just don't have that extra appeal all day through.
On my way to work, alot of times I don't even have the radio on for the 25 minute drive. It's nice sometimes to just relax and look at the things you're passing. But other times you need that music badly. There's a song by Ginny Owens called "Something More". The chorus and bridge go a little something like this:

there's gotta be something more than running circles for a living
gotta be something better than just trying to survive
gotta be some important puzzle piece that I am missing
gotta be something more to life...
tired of these hopeless places
bored with my earthly things
so I must fill my empty places
with the love that heaven brings...

that's where I'm at...what are the things worth living for ..?..Matthew and I have been thinking about some mission opportunities lately, actually since last October, and we think we found a place but still it's made me think about what we're supposed to do with our lives. It seems like everyone we talk to that don't know us REAL well are shocked that we still live in an apt in BG. It seems like they just can't grasp the fact that not everyone is blessed with awesome jobs straight out of college and can't jump right into the "normal" life and begin to do the "normal" things that people do after they get married and graduate. I don't want to live a "normal" life...and I don't want to do what everyone else wants us to do. With that being said it's still a lot of pressure. One of my big faults is crumbling with the pressures that I feel like others are putting on me. I want to be different but sometimes my desire gets smushed when others lead me to believe that what I want to do is just wrong or foolish. I wish my desires were big enough and matter enough to me so that I could come to a point where it just wouldn't matter what other people think. But I guess that doesn't really work when you're a people pleaser. I feel such guilt dissappointing people or feeling as if others are dissappointed in me when I want something different.

So it leads me back to Sundays...the only day where I try not to think of all that gunk and rest in a place where it just can't get to me. I like to believe that on Sundays it just can't reach me because I'm in my world, in my teeny apt in bg, doing the "unnormal" things, filling my empty places with the love that only heaven can bring....