managers vs. leaders

Matthew started his first week of classes last week. He is going for his Masters in Educational Leadership down at the University of Dayton campus. With one week completed out of 6, he has already been learning quite a bit of information that I know will carry over into knowledge. I'm already so proud of him for how he has handled his class load, and how persistent he is with his readings. I'm not sure if I would be focused and undeterred as he is. Just yesterday at Kroger's he pointed out how easily distracted I am. It seems our conversation lasted over 10 minutes because I kept looking at things instead of focusing on what we were saying. I give him a lot of credit for how hard he is working for our family, while also holding a part time job this summer.

One of his classed he has to read a book called "Management of Organizational Behavior". The first night that he sat down to read, I was also reading my novel on the couch. I had my pillows placed perfectly, my pj's on, the little lamp on the stand lit and my fleece blanket over top of me. My little pup was in the crook of my knee sleeping soundly. It was PERFECT. Matthew was at the table with the bright overhead light on reading away. He looked up at me and said:

"Hey check this out---let me read this to you."

Once finished he said---sound familiar? I've been thinking about my own life in general and the people that I have surrounding me. I definitely do not believe that I'm struggling...as how the bible states. But I am wrestling over some ideas and thoughts that just can't escape my mind. One of the things I'm beginning to realize at this point in my life is that I have a lot of "managers" influencing my life instead of "leaders".

I've started to believe that I need to surround myself with more leaders if I want to change some things in my life. I feel like sometimes you need more managers surrounding you at certain times in life and in others more leaders....this is just the stage that I'm in.

God has also been revealing to my heart that I am very much so a manager person. I don't think outside of the box too often, unless it concerns art. For the most part I am: a control freak, manages things, have a short range view, and very often I surrender to the surroundings.

I think I need to step up my game just a bit....

"Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed." Hebrews 12:13