EMPATH
You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person's perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person's predicatment--that would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. You hear the unvoiced questions.

1.Empathy
2.Strategic
3.Input
4.Belief
5.Developer

So these are my top 5 strengths. A job that I'm interviewing for had me take a strengths finder test to find my top 5 strengths and this is what they are. Some are more shocking than the others but empathy hit the nail on the head. I've been told throughout my life that I'm too sensitive, that I need to let things roll off my back and that I think about things too much. My question in response was why is that such a bad thing? Now I'm beginning to understand that this is the way that God made me. I shouldn't be made to feel, or people tell me that I shouldn't be this way. It's engrained in my being. This is part of who I am.

Now I'm not a very political person. I don't like watching Meet the Press every Sunday morning like my husband does (the big history buff). There are certain things that I stand for (that goes along with my belief strength), but I've never been one of those staunch political people who shove their belief on others and make others feel that they are "bad Americans" if they believe something different. (i.e. Democratic ideas). There are certain things that are very important to me that deal with presidents....(1)their view on abortion (2) how they treat the poor and the misuse of funds for the rich and (3) their view on the environment, oil drilling and the progression of alternative fuel choices.

Every night last week we watched the Democratic National Convention. My husband was glued to the tv with the lights turned low, two pillows behind his head, and the slight hum of the ceiling fan cooling his bare chest after a hard day out in the yard. I on the other hand was in my running clothes, the reading light over my head with my fluffy bed pillow propping me up, my book on my lap, and cool peanut butter ice cream with caramel topping waiting to be devoured. I was half paying attention. Certian topics that were brought up caught my attention but other than that the mood was set for prime time reading!!! When Barack spoke though I listened in Thursday night. For me a person who up until recently was a convinced republican, has now been riding the fence during this election. I needed to hear what this man had to say.

Some of my views were changed, others stayed the same. Something though that has really been catching my attention though is the references to Obama being the "antichrist". I've been thinking about this alot and it's really starting to bother me. Maybe it's the empathy that is deeply rooted into my core, but I think it's wrong to say that he could be the antichrist. Who are we to say? Aren't God's thoughts greater than ours? Isn't He really the only one that knows?

On the drive up to Mansfield today I sat in the warm car with the air tangeling my hair and thought about how terrible it would make me feel if someone called me the antichrist. How would that make Barack or McCain feel? How would it make anyone feel? Who are we to judge? How does that make God feel, God's child....called the antichrist?

I believe that as followers of Christ we need to be on the lookout, but who are we to make judgements? In the Word God doesn't talk about it being our responsibility to accuse others of being the antichrist.
He says,
"Therefore keep watch....So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him." (Matt. 24:42, 44)

...Keep watch...

cultivating less weeds, more fruit

"Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man. Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely, who conducts his affairs with justice. Surely he will never be shaken; a righteous man will be remembered forever. He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. His heart is secure, he will have no fear;" ~Psalm 112: 4-8

It's been a tough month. Dealing with the loss of my best friend CoCo has been rough. Even more than I had originally thought that it would be.

Throughout college, each time I would come home to visit, and when the end of the weekend was approaching I would start to pack up my bags and say my farewells. CoCo would always get special treatment. I would spend an exaggerated amount of time with her. Petting her ears, scratching her belly, and wispering in her ear to be "a good dog" (even though she was ALWAYS good) and that I loved her. Mom started preparing me way back then to say my goodbye because who knew what would happen. Four years later I was still having this ritual with her, and making each time meaningful and special. I wanted her to know that I loved her. In a sad way, I made her invicible because now I have difficulty coming to the realization that she isn't here anymore. Her presence isn't gracing my world. She is only here in spirit and in memory.

I've been learning through this time of loss. Through the struggles of balancing the finances of a house with partial income, breaking free from spiritual strongholds in my life, and handeling the new, but fun responsibilites of new homeownership while also searching for a job has been interesting. I've come to the realization that the only opinion in the entire planet that actually matters is the opinion of Christ. I've also learned that it's not so important what the actual trial is about. It's the character that you're building through the trial that actually matters.

In God's own little ways he has been encouraging me through the sounds of our new backyard, the comments of individuals passing by on their bicycles while we are working in the yard, and the comment of my 5 year old nephew Tyler about our home. These are God's way of encouraging me to press on. Press on! He'll bring beauty from the ashes.

On a different note, I thought I would show some progress of our flowerbeds since we purchased our home on May 15th. It's great to actually see progress through images for at times it seems like we are hardly making any progress at all. We have big plans but limited muscle strength. We're hoping by the end of next weekend we'll have the flower bulbs relocated, the grass seed planted and be on our way to fewer weeds!

...laid at rest...

We buried our best friend yesterday morning. Mom and Dad were in Michigan on vacation up at the lake and Matt and I had come home earlier that week. Thursday night we received a call from mom stating that they were coming home early because CoCo wasn't doing good at all. In the background I hear howls of pain that I had never heard before from her. Mom stated that it didn't look good and before she closed, she said "Kim you need to prepare yourself for the worst". The next morning at 5am we got the call. Mom was in tears and she said, "Kim, we're going to the vet, this will be CoCo's last day. She can't walk, and is alot of pain." Luckily, I had fell asleep in my clothes the night before and I jumped up, put my shoes on and was in the car within 5 minutes.

My worst day had come. I arrived at mom and dad's. The car was on, dad was driving and mom was in the backseat with CoCo comforting her. She wasn't howling anymore, but right when I saw her, I knew this was the end. I opened the back door, CoCo lifted her head and shoulder, I sat down and then she placed her head on my lap for me to rub and pet her. It brough flashbacks to my mind of when we first picked her out. She sat on my lap, 15 years earlier, and I petted her head. This was coming full circle.

The car ride went so fast. I whispered to her that I loved her, would always love her, and that I would never forget her. We took her in, and watched her breath her last. I can only hope that she went straight from our arms, to the arms of Jesus. My hope is that she's in heaven with him, playing and running.

The past day has been pretty rough. I stayed at my parents and rubbed CoCo's head while the grave was being buried. I positioned her on the blanket so that she would look "beautiful" for all eternity. And I watched her be placed in the grave and the dirt be piled in. My mom and I made a boquet for her later that afternoon and we painted a rock with her name on it. My dad made a cross and also placed in as the headstone. This all just happened so fast.

I've been trying not to play the game of "would of, could of and should of". It only brings more pain. There is so many things that I could of done, but I've been trying to not live in that kind of place. I know that I loved her with all my heart, and I tried to care for her as much as I could with what I had in me. I hope that she knows that I will ALWAYS love her and that she can never be replaced. You'll always be my CoComokers, my Colimolie, my babes. I love you, for all eternity CoCo!!