Factory..is this all there is to life?

what kind of ice cream do I want...?

...hmmm...where shall i being....hmmm....
Last week we traveled to Orlando FL to go to an orientation program for our possible venture of becoming missionary teachers overseas in Egypt. It was overall a wonderful and exciting time. We learned alot about ourselves, some good some bad, we saw more of God's plans for world missions, and we saw just how many people in the world do not know the Good News of Jesus Christ. Although it was a great and wonderful time, I feel that I have come back from this trip more confused than ever. I was hoping for a stronger direction and an affirmation that this was what God desires for us to do. Now I'm not so sure anymore.

The best way to explain my feelings can be related to picking a flavor of ice cream in an ice cream shop. Imagine just for a moment if you will....::::

You're hungry for cold ice cream. You walk to the best place in town (our local DQ) and you go in and look at the flavors on the lit up board. You look and look, and you can't decide. All the flavors look so good. You know that their is a flavor that is just calling your name, but that voice is so faint you just can't make it out. You know that it is there...it's just not loud enough. You look around and see people come in, order their ice cream, say how great theirs is, and then walk out. This continually happens for an extended amount of time. You desire so badly to know what kind of ice cream you should get, but you just can't figure it out. You ask the next person that comes in what flavor is good. They let you know....but that sounds disgusting to you. You ask another person, and they say their flavor but it isn't appealing. You being to realize that their flavors are their favorite because it is theirs! NOT YOURS! You start to wonder if you'll ever find the flavor that you want. The more you look at the brilliantly lit sign, the more overwhelmed with all the choices their are. You ask the owner of the ice cream store what you should do...but he remains silent. You're desperate! You want ice cream but you don't know what to pick!!! You're afraid to pick the wrong flavor. You don't want to miss out if their is a better flavor out there!!! You become very overwhelmed and discouraged...so you just walk out. You have decided that it's too hard...and with no one helping you, you'd rather just go without. You've abandoned your dream of having ice cream.

That's what I feel like...really...I know it's ridiculous. There are so many options and choices in life. How do you choose? Is God really calling Matthew and I into missions or is Satan just whispering to us that we can't do it, that we aren't "good enough"? My upmost desire it to want to make God smile, and I'm so fearful that I'm going to be disobedient to Him, or that I'm missing some calling for my life, that I'm paralyzed with fear of making any decision....I just want some ice cream :(