Redesigning worship....well the stalls at least for the moment

For the past couple of weeks I have had the opportunity to finally use my talent (or at least I think it is a talent) for the Lord at Ginghamsburg Church in a rather consistent manner. I've been working with Kim Miller, the creative director at Ginghamsburg, to help redecorate and redesign three particular bathroom. Two at the Avenue, a place where young teens and college age adults can come together and fellowship, and one bathroom located in the back of the church behind the sancuary.

Please check out Kim Miller's blog at http://www.redesigningworship.com/.
She has such amazing ideas and a fresh heart!!


Since attending Ginghamsburg on a regular basis since last August, I've dabbled in a couple of different areas of service. I tried for many weeks on ends to serve at the food pantry, but ultimately found that it wasn't a perfect fit. Matt and I also served in many one time events where various ministries at the church needing help. But I felt like I really did find my "fit". Something was going against the grain and it just didn't feel right.
For this season in my life, I feel like this works for me. I enjoy spending the time in the stalls...quite literally....listening to the ipod or talking with other volunteers and designing away. In the pictures posted you'll see the transformation to the young mens restroom. When I began working on this, it was essentially a blank and rather large canvas. Using only three basic colors of army green, stone gray, and navy blue, I tried to create interestesting patterns using the basic shape of a square. I can't help but picture this as a large ATARI game screen. It's been a bunch of fun! Thanks Lord for pointing this out for me at this time, and also to Ginghamsburg and Kim for allowing me to be a part of this. We all have a place in the body of Christ...just be patient to try to find it!! ;)
<---- This stall in particular will be the next
area to tackle...more pictures to come!

it doesn't matter how you feel, it's what you do that matters

Well we are finally moved in!!! We did our final big move for hopefully a very long time last Friday. We had a big turnout of family to help us take all of our things down three flights of stairs, into the back of trucks and trailers, and down the 5.6 miles to our new home. It was a great time of fellowship with our family, and we are so thankful for their gracious help to spend the evening using strength and muscle. Although we had a successful move, and thankfully no one was hurt, my heart was full of sadness.
That afternoon I received a call from a job that I had interviewed with that I really wanted. They were calling to inform me that they had filled the position with another applicant. My face was downcast and my heart was heavy. What did I not have? That weekend was pretty rough, feelings of self-doubt and insecurity rose in my heart like rampant fire. What are we going to do?
I'm at a point now where I'm just trying to trust. One of my favorite bands at the moment is Superchic[k]. What beautiful lyrics and melodies. This band explains the heartache and brokenheartedness that you may feel in life. Their lyrics, which I think are directly inspired by Jesus, are helping me to stay afloat. The lyrics from Crawl (Carry Me Through) are below.....

How long will this take? How much can I go through?
My heart, my soul aches I don't know what to do
I bend, but don't break Somehow I'll get through
Cause I have You

And if I had to crawl Well You'd crawl too
I stumble and I fall Carry me through
The wonder of it all Is You see me through

O Lord, where are you? Do not forget me here
I cry in silence Can you not see my tears

When all have left me
And hope has disappeared
You'll find me here

Some people that know all the implications and details of our situation, I know they are trying to help, but have recommended some jobs. I've brought this before the Lord many times, but is it arrogant or boastful, or maybe even prideful to think that I would like a job that uses my college education? I definetly don't think I deserve a more qualified job, but is it wrong to not settle when you know you took extra steps and spent four years at an institution so you would be able to get a job that uses your education?

Whatever happens, I know the Lord will carry me through. If I come out of this crawling, I'll still come out of it. Another song from Superchick that I exceptionally like is [hey hey]. They sing

"But I won't sell out even if the whole world thinks I'm crazy".

I've come to realize that when you're full of such immobilizing fear, you're selling out to God. What you've professed hasn't been real, and because your situation is bad, you're a sell out by living out your fears. I won't sell out. I've noticed that when I have conversation after conversation with my family about ...what are you going to do....it makes me start to have "sell out thoughts". So I'm just choosing not to talk about it with other people besides the Lord. I know that he has a plan for me and also for my family. He'll carry us through, and he'll carry you through whatever you're going through. You can never learn about the grace of Jesus, without trials. What is the purpose of grace if everything is easy for you?

having peace like a river

It's been awhile since I last blogged. I wanted to give special tribute to my dogs birthday so I thought I wouldn't write for some time. I also had an alterier motive though as well. The last two weeks have been pretty rough for me, and ultimately the heartache has been passed onto to Matthew as well. Two weeks ago, my boss sat me down and we had a hard conversation. He was informing me that in the following weeks and months, he would be closing the franchise, and beginning a smaller window treatment business. Because of this, he stated that it would be wise for me to start looking for another job.....
I really didn't know what to say. The entire conversation, thoughts of despair were rolling around in the crevaces of my brain. "What are we going to do now?" "Why does this always happen?" "Why is it such a struggle for Matt and I to find good, stable jobs with reliable incomes?" Then the ultimate damaging thoughts of, "What is so wrong with us?" "Lord what are we doing wrong for this to keep happening? How are we disobeying you?"
Sometimes the fear of not finding another job is suffocating. When I sit stationary for more than a couple of minutes, and I'm not consumed with something else, the fear comes on so strongly. It litterly feels like something is creeping up my back and with gnarled fingers, puts me in a choke hold. I don't know what we're going to do this fall. Our work is temporary, but our mortage and the bills to survive are far from that.
I can be completely fine and start the morning off great, but give me five minutes at my desk to myself, and tears spring to my eyes. My friends in my study group keep praying for Matt and I. My sister has sympathized with me and has said to me, "I just don't know why all of these things keep hitting you, all at once, or in sucession." I don't know why they are happening. But I"m trying to live on the promises of my Savior. It says that "all things work together for those that love Christ." I completely believe this promise from my Savior but I have no idea how this is going to work out for the good. But when I think about things too much, they just become terrorizing. Sometimes I just wonder what I'm doing wrong and why I'm always taking and making the wrong decisions.
The study that I'm doing now is called Breaking Free. In one session it talks about finding complete satisfaction and peace through Jesus. In Isaiah 48:17-18 it states:

"I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea."

Beth Moore writes in the study "To have peace like a river is to have security and tranquillity of heart and mind while meeting many bumps and unexpected turns on life's journey through change. Peace is submission to a trustworthy Authority, not resignation form all activity."
This struck me pretty hard. I always thought that peace was still and solemn. But when Jesus says you'll have peace like a river, a river is strong and powerful. The water is ripped along the shore, thrown over rocks, and is so cutting that it creates new path. I still haven't understood completely how I should apply this to my life, but it's given me a new perspective. Living a life for Christ, is far from the stereotypical "peaceful" life. It's really rather terrifying!
I've been looking over the past couple years of my life trying to figure out what I've been missing, where I may be disobeying God, or where I've been deliberately ignoring the voice of God. A couple of situations came to my mind where Satan completely stole the joy that Christ intended for me. I remember in college living with a particular roommate that I just did not get along with. We were just so different and had nothing in common. We both got engaged around the same time of year, and from that day on until the time we moved out, there was tension and conflict. We were both planning our weddings, and there was always tensions between the two of us. I allowed Satan to enter that time and steal the joy in my heart about being engaged.. I really wish I could get those months back. Shortly after that, I graduated from college. This should be a joyful time in my life right? I allowed Satan to fill my mind with thoughts of failure and waste. I didn't want to pursue interior design, the degree I graduated with. I allowed and still struggle to fight off the temptation that is constantly beating down the door of my mind for being a big fat waste in life. And currently in this situation the struggle is exceptionally difficult. Now with the purchase of our first home. This should be exciting right?! But since the conversation with my boss, I've felt nothing but worry, anxiousness, anger and dissappointment in myself. I don't want Satan to take this joy, this joy that I've been working hard to achieve for three years, saving EVERY penny, right out from under my feet. I have a hard time fighting off his advances, but I've already went to my victor Jesus, and he's not taking this away from me. I will be victorious in this battle. I'm going to put on the full armor of God, and Satan won't catch me running away. Oh no, my back is the only place unprotected.....I'm tried of running.

HaPpY 15th BiRtHdAy CoCo!!!

Yesterday we had a little scare with CoCo. She woke up and could hardly walk and had to be carried everywhere. My mom had called me several times yesterday morning, and my phone was on silent from the night before, so she called me at work to let me know that CoCo was having a rough time. She didn't know what the outcome would be. They were taking her to the vet that afternoon, and if she was in too much pain, pain that couldn't be helped, they were going to have to make that dreadful decision. On the phone hearing what my mom was saying, sprung tears to my eyes. I knew this day would be coming, but even though you know it's a part of life, it still stabs you in the heart.

I went to my parents home before they left for the vet. I rode up in the back of my dads hooptee (as we like to call it) with my mom and CoCo in the backseat. Dad was our taxi that afternoon. All I could do was pet her and tell her how much I love her, over and over again. She would give me looks of understanding. I said a quick goodbye, and dad carried her in. The 45 minutes that I sat in the car I just cried and cried. I couldn't believe that today, a day full of sunshine would be the day.

Then they came out....little leg warmers on her arms where she had blood drawn, and a *smiling* puppy! I was so estatic! She was okay!!! The doctors said that he right back leg, at her knee, pops out of socket, and that her blood work shows that she needs to eat more as she is slightly malnourished. That was a bit shocking because if you've ever been around CoCo for an extended amount of time, you know that she eats everything is sight. Everything she sees that smells good, she tries to get. We're still pondering how that could be.

But today is her birthday! Through the years, we always celebrated August 11th, because that was the day that she came to our home. But for the first time yesterday after looking at her paperwork, I saw the day she was born. TODAY! So this is a little tribute to her, for all the joy she's brought to my families life, all the memories she has made, and all the silly onryness that has made us laugh through the years! Happy 15th Birthday CoCo!! We love you!!!

combos, o'charleys, 4 brewskis, cornhole, hit or miss, 2 coffees, a butterfinger, brownies, and a mountain dew

What does this all add up to? A great time with old friends, or shall I say friends that never get old. My husband, myself, and Faye piled into my always safe and reliable Grand Am yesterday afternoon and heading to Columbus to visit Matt Cline. After being stuck in a little bit of traffic, we arrived in Canal Winchester excited to spend some time with a good guy from Texas.

We talked with his parents for a bit and then heading out for a great meal at O'Charleys. We had so much fun laughing and telling stories, and even had a random lady come to our table and tell us that everytime she heard Faye laugh, it made her laugh. She walked away adding "Enjoy life, it's meant to be enjoyed!". We then came back for a couple rounds of Cornhole only to get beat twice, had a couple beers, and then went to the backyard to play some more games, and enjoy the night air.



On the way home from visiting Matt we got to talking in the car how great it is to have friends that even if you don't see them everyday, or at least once a week, it's not akward to speak with them. The time that you meet up isn't spent getting aquainted again. It's like time has never passed, you just hang out and enjoy life with them. Of course you catch up on what you're doing in your everyday life, but it's never weird or strange. You just pick up where you left off.


It's like that with Faye and Matt. Bru and Cline have been friends since kindergarten, and we all met Faye our Senior year at college. We've all went through alot, and we've spent many many hours laughing and just "doing life together". These are the people that you look back over your life and you see there for you, through everything. What a blessing it is to have such great friends!!