recycle

dandelion in a whirlwind

dandelion in a whirlwind

have you ever thought about the transformation of a dandelion? it grows to be a beautiful yellow weed...which others sometimes find bothersome, but i really think they are beautiful. if i had a yard, where dandelions could grow, i would never spray chemicals to kill them. they grow to an array of polka dots in the yard, explaining God's beauty all throughout the little blades of grass.

but how does the transform happen? is a certain day in the year reserved just for dandelion transformation? and how does it even occur? a yellow dandelion is flat on the bottom, but when it transforms it's a perfectly round clump of fuzzies. it really doesn't make much sense to me, but maybe this is some knowledge that i'm not supposed to know.

i've been thinking about dandelions alot lately because they seem to be everywhere along the sidewalks. the fuzzy dandelions that is. i feel in some way like a dandelion. i feel as if at one time, who i was, was very beautiful and bright. sunny. but i also feel as if others found me unenjoyable, just as avid lawn keepers find dandelions. i've always stuggled with this issue, feeling valued in a world that doesn't value too many human beings.

but now, i feel tossed by the wind. i feel as if i can stand tall when the wind isn't blowing, but if challenges are blown my way, i crumble, and fall apart. i feel as if i've tried to be that beautiful glowing dandelion, standing tall in the face of adversity, and i've turned into something tossed by the wind. sometimes i don't know if i can take anymore frustrations or heartaches.

in no way has my life been terribly devastating, but i definetly thought that my life would of ended up different after studying my tooshie off at college for four years. i definetly thought i would of had a more valuable job using my skills and talents. i'm to the point now, where i struggle to even believe that i have talents. i thought i would get along with my husband more than i do. i thought that i would be a stronger believer in Christ, not doubting my faith as much as i do. and lastly i thought i would be to a point in life where i could appreciate who i was created to be. i thought i would value myself more...

i want so much to come to a place where i can stand tall in the face of heartache, dissappointment, and downfalls. face the lawn mowers and weed killers, standing tall, strong and beautiful. hopefully that day will come soon....